Me, the Queen

When I came home Saturday morning from doing my first-ever 5K (feel free to be 'wowed' and shower me with compliments) :), Autumn saw me looking like this and asked, "you are a queen?" I snickered a little in response, and then though i wasn't really sure what to say, I declared, "yes, i am a queen." I've had one of my very favorite quotes hanging on our fridge for at least two years now..."In every woman there is a queen. Speak to the queen and the queen will answer." (--Norwegian Proverb) The reason I like this quote so much is because it is so true. And because I'm frequently wishing that Peter (and sometimes the kids) would "speak to the queen" in me. Usually, whenever I hear of someone being labeled a queen, I think of Peter's Grandma Bev. Her late 2nd husband Papa Don used to call her his queen and she has frequently talked about how he treated her as such. Even today, the license plate holder on her car says, "The Governor and His Queen". In a note or two to her in the recent years, I've addressed her as a queen and I've also sent her something that mentioned a queen (I think it was a Mary Englebreit something). She has so kindly addressed me in return as "Queen April" a few times, even saying on my birthday card to "get myself a queen's manicure" with the check she gave me. It's always felt good to hear, but it struck me in a different way when Autumn used the word on me. Perhaps it is because I just got back from doing something I felt really pleased with myself about. I don't know. At any rate, it occurred to me that I was feeling more like a queen because I'd been speaking to my 'inner queen'. I was having good thoughts about myself. And those of you who know me well, know that "positive self-talk" is NOT a regularity with me...more like a rarity. I realized how nice it felt and recognized how important it is to "speak to the queen" in myself. Sure, it's a grand thing to have others "speak to the queen" in me, most especially Peter, but I must be 'speaking to my queen' regardless of how others are treating me. Now, I don't want y'all thinking that this was some novel idea I had on Saturday...it was more the context in which I thought about the issue that was a slight twist...it's an issue I've struggled with for years & years. (For example, I have a handful of pages in my journal--from different time periods in my teenage-hood--where I wrote something good about myself every day because my dad thought it would be beneficial for me.) And since I've been doing Weight Watchers, I've been reminded just how BIG an issue it is for me. No wonder I've been overweight for so long. It's been helpful to learn more about how my negative self-talk affects me from a food/health standpoint and what I can/should do instead. ...ANYWAY, as the day went on, Autumn actually asked me a few more times if I was a queen. Maybe I should wear a crown more often to help me (& others) remember to "speak to the queen"... :)

Oh, in case you're wondering, it was a free 5K that I heard about at church (the wards from our town combined with the wards from a few other neighboring towns), so I signed up to give myself a challenge. I had my doubts and seriously contemplated not going. I mean, c'mon...the last time I was running long distances was shortly after Peter and I first met at college. But, in the end, I think I wanted to prove somethin' to myself, so I dragged my "not a morning person" self out of bed before 7am (speaking of last times, when is the last time I did that?!?!) to take my "overweight and out of shape" self to the 5K. Donning my iPod, I set off at a fairly brisk jog, but quickly slowed to a fast walk. Think I momentarily forgot I wasn't still a 'runner'. I continued to alternate between a slow jog and a speed walk until about the last third (I'm a bad estimator of actual distance) of the course. I finally found a groove and though my muscles were aching, my lungs burning and I was in some pain, I made myself keep jogging. And then when the end was within sight, I even found it in me to pick up the pace to stride to & across the finish line. (Unfortunately, out of nowhere, another gal barely passed me right at the line--I hate that.) I don't know my place and I'm not certain of my time (it was a very casual 5K), but I was quite pleased with how I did. (I think it took me 35-40 minutes to complete.) I even got that 'high' that I used to get when I used to run. Reminded me how I've missed it. I might just be slowly becoming a 5K "junkie"... :) So, if you know of one around here, let me know! ......OH, just about forgot to tell you the reason for the crown and necklace w/trophy attached... :) Our ward won those 'awards' since we had the most place in the top 5--2nd, 3rd and 5th. If I said I think I look completely DORKY (among other words) in the photo, it wouldn't be speaking to my 'inner queen', so I won't say it... :)